How to negotiate like a boss?

In my previous post I gave you some guidance on how to negotiate a salary raise. However, taking into account the comments I received, not a lot of people are ready to negotiate. In my opinion, this is due to the fact that not everyone is aware of what negotiation actually is, and the negotiation behaviour. Therefore, this post explains more about the types of negotiating and it aim is to make YOU realize which behaviour to choose when negotiating. I really hope that YOU, my followers and readers will find it useful. Enjoy!

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Would you like to negotiate like a boss? Here is a manager’s tools kit for negotiating that each of us can apply to different situation.

Novak and Hall (2001) explain that effective conflict negotiation is when you are expressing your interests and at the same time being able to understand the needs of the other side, AND also you are using solving skills to accomplish a joint solution. In a perfect world YES, in real life this sounds like ‘mission impossible’.


The authors of one of the most successful books for negotiating ‘Getting to Yes’ explore the bargaining phenomenon and a way that both parties can win. Enough theory, let’s look at different negotiating behaviour featuring in the distributive and integrative bargaining strategies.


This type is a competitive negotiation strategy where one of the parties gets everything and the other one is left with nothing. Here, the word ‘compromise’ does not exist and the more you get, the more satisfied you feel. In my opinion, this strategy is not acceptable in the work place as people should always try to collaborate and make the outcomes of negotiation beneficial to both sides.

Here is a video that shows in an innovative way negotiation approaches, Take a look at it.


Controversy, this strategy is with positive outcome to both parties. The participants in the negotiation process are trying to find winning solution for both of them. They are focused on both parties’ interests and this type of behaviour predicts long term relationship. In other words, this is a collaborating way of dealing with conflicts in the workplace and arisen disagreements when negotiating a salary.


Imagine you as a managealan sugarr are about to hold a performance review. You need to be prepared for a direct clash with the employee. Which bargaining strategy will you chose and why? Everything would be easier if you were Alan Sugar, unfortunately you are not. Talking about Alan Sugar, the Apprentice is a good example of how no matter how hard you want something and you fight for it, if you don’t have the right approach – you are out. Don’t let this happen to you.


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There MUST be another way!

xlargeConflict and war are part of human history and according to the famous classical realist-Hans Morgenthau- the reason for them is in the human nature. On the other hand, the structural realist, Kenneth Waltz, believes that the cause of war and conflicts is the anarchic structure of the international system. The most lasting international problem in the Middle East and one of the most   important causes of instability in the region is the Arab-Israeli conflict. In my opinion, the Arab – Israeli conflict should stop as soon as possible and build sustainable peace because with every minute passing, more and more people are getting killed. Conflicts need negotiation in order to be resolved especially when we are talking about a military conflict.

I also believe that one of the major b13_israeli_tanks_at_the_gaza_strip_borders__file_2007_1_1arriers to resolving the conflict is that Israel and its citizens do not come under as much danger of death and destruction as they inflict on others, i.e. Gaza Strip, which prevents Israel government to give in some arguments when trying to agree the peace treaty. Historical, cultural and economic aspects add even more problems.

What if suddenly, some people come to your country and build their own country there? How would you feel? As it is said, there are always two sides of the coin.

Since Israel established as a new 532465369_ac188ecb26independent state in 1948, it was in a war with its Arab neighbours, which continues till today for some countries. Up to date, between Israel and various Arab states there have been at least six major wars: 1948, 1956, 1967, 1973, 1982 and 2006, as well as numerous forms of hostility such as intifada, terrorist attacks, etc.

Despite many negotiation phases that this conflict has been through, none has ever led to a sustainable peace. John Lederach (1995) suggests that there are four phases that can lead to suppression of the domination relationship:

  1. Conscientisation – the dominant newparty become familiar with the imbalance
  2. Confrontation – the weaker side – the Palestinians (the dominated) to take some actions
  3. Negotiation – when both parties realise that the situation is unbearable and a condition for negotiating to be reducing the imbalance of the two parties.
  4. Sustainable peace – maintaining relationship between both sides, hence they become balanced, and this leads to collaborative relationship.


How do YOU think the Arab-Israeli conflict should be negotiated?

Why did not any of the attempts for resolving the conflict lead to a sustainable peace?

Here is a video about conflict negotiation presented in very interesting way with engaging stories. Have a look at the video and tell what do you think about the 18 camels approach?

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Keep calm and get more money

Salary increasing – sounds nice, doesn’t it? Spending the same amount of time in the office for more money – Yes please! 30 years ago everyone knew how much money did their friends and colleagues got paid. Today, salary is one of the most disturbing topics to talk about, and additionally, I doubt that you can find two employees working desk to desk who receive the same benefits. In my opinion, nowadays, you earn how much you can sell yourself for which is a matter of confidence, experience, temperament, and most of all negotiating skills.


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Salary negotiation is very challenging especially if you are in a junior position and you are asking for a salary increase. Theory suggests that a key to negotiating is being well informed, having confidence in your ability to negotiate, knowing what you want, and being prepared for everything.

I found a hilarious video that is worth watching as it is entertaining and I am sure it will make you laugh. P.S. Don’t try this at work!

Don’t panic

Never be scared of your boss. Remember, your boss has also been in your position and do not think that it all depends on your boss decision, it depends on how well can you negotiate. Come prepared to negotiate and have done your research, you will be one move forward your boss if you back up your requests with some statistics and proofs of your hard work.


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The three numbers rule RULES

Whenever you are negotiating, you need to have determined earlier the three important numbers that will lead you in the whole negotiating process.

The maximum is the highest number you would like to get without fearing that it will immediately cancel the other side. Don’t have too big expectations because you may end up crying in the toilet on your lunch break.

The minimum is the lowest number at which you would accept the offer but won’t go celebrate it with friends.

And the BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement) which usually represents a number that is realistic and if it is the only one you can get, you would accept it. You should not reveal your BATNA as you will have more chances getting a higher salary.


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Negotiating for something you truly want and deserve is less risk than doing nothing. If you don’t risk anything, you risk everything. And in the end of the day, if you don’t manage to get what you want, you would have tried which is better than sitting in the office thinking ‘What if’. Personally, I would have tried to negotiate a higher salary. Are you brave enough to negotiate a salary raise?

Don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen.


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Workplace Conflict : How To Resolve Conflict in Workplace

As this blog is about conflict and negotiation, here is very useful video that I found.

The video is about how to resolve a conflict. As the blog will focus on resolving conflicts techniques, this is a good introduction to the posts that will feature in this blog. I hope, you find this video useful.

In addition to this video, here are 6 good ways for conflict resolution in my opinion.

6 ways to resolve a conflict in the work place

Conflicts in the office are painful reality and a major cause for poor productivity. The more pressure exists in the work place, the more conflicts will arise. On the other hand, stress is a common reason for conflicts in many companies, especially when structural and personnel changes are planning.

’Conflict and disagreement offer wonderful opportunities to learn and grow. As long as you respect others’ differences and things don’t get personal, as long as you question the idea and not the person, then there will be room for discovery and movement toward the best solution.’’

Matthew Gilber (2002p.228)

  1. 1.    Keep calm
  2. 2.    Stay friendly
  3. 3.    Understand where the other person is coming from
  4. 4.    Be positive
  5. 5.    Put yourself in their shoes
  6. 6.    Listen Listen Listen Listen
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